There’s hardly a more appropriate context within which to apply the principles of spiritual psychology than the process of divorce. It is so easy to get caught up in the negative aspects of the ego when going through the challenges of divorce, spending a fortune on attorneys and other litigation experts; however, there’s almost no better time to work on yourself.
In spiritual psychology, there’s an adage that states, “it’s hard to work on something if it’s not present.” I don’t know about you, but in my experience there seems to be a virtually unlimited supply of… let’s call it “stuff” to work through during a divorce.
Upset, anger, blame, frustration, fear, et cetera are all inflamed by the seemingly unavoidable conflict that is so much a part of our current divorce litigation system. Instead of focusing our efforts on healing from the traumatic consequences of separation and divorce, our current system tends to increase suffering by adding to the conflict: forcing positions, justifying resentments, and exacerbating feelings of alienation, rejection, powerlessness and self-victimization, while much of the litigants’ hard earned assets are lost to legal fees. Most typically, the only ones benefiting from divorce litigation are the attorneys, assuming they get paid.
Well, let’s now focus our attention on what we can do differently. There are other options, options where your efforts are on utilizing the challenges present in your divorce to heal unresolved issues that have lurking in the shadows, often since childhood. The problems of divorce can sometimes seem quite overwhelming, but only when viewed from an ego-based mindset of self-victimization.
What if instead of seeing your situation as rife with seemingly insurmountable problems, you could take a more empowering perspective that sees the problems as opportunities for healing and growth, where the solutions are built-in and always attainable?
By changing your perspective you will be able to find those solutions within yourself. The principles of spiritual psychology can be applied to any divorce, no matter how traumatic, to realize positive resolution and healing. Even if your spouse chooses a conventional, unconscious approach to your divorce, you can experience the transformative benefits of a Conscious Divorce, which will undoubtedly have positive ramifications throughout the entire divorce process for everyone involved, particularly your children (if you have children).
Conventional psychology focuses on trying to cope with conflict on the level of the ego, where conflict exists. At best, it can help to mitigate the damage to the psyche that so commonly accompanies divorce, but you’re still stuck in the realm of negative ego, still being run by your emotions and the dysfunctional programming that entered your subconscious mind, typically during your developing years. By utilizing the proven principles of spiritual psychology, you can learn to transcend the realm of the negative ego, reaching an empowered state where your state-of-being is within your control and not subject to reactionary turmoil, fear, confusion, anger, and distress that is prevalent in conventional divorce proceedings.
In their groundbreaking and transformative book Loyalty to Your Soul, The Heart of Spiritual Psychology, my teachers, Drs. H. Ronald Hulnick and Mary R. Hulnick define spiritual psychology as, “The study and practice of the art and science of human evolution in consciousness.” We are all here to experience learning, which is synonymous with healing. By waking up out of your old way of being where ego determined your reactions, moods, and well-being (or lack of), you have the ability to consciously choose your own state-of-being and meet the challenges of your divorce with creative, uplifting, and enduring solutions. By developing your awareness of your connection to higher states of consciousness, you empower yourself to clear the underlying causes of your suffering and experience of negative emotions, you utilize your present situation as a stepping stone to living a meaningful, joy-filled, and harmonious life.
For more information on how we can assist you in your own process of evolution in consciousness, please feel free to contact us to see how we may be of service to you.
Love & Light Ahead!
Michael Cotugno, Esq.
Conscious Divorce Master Practitioner
M.A. in Spiritual Psychology