Tenth Verse of the Tao Te Ching:
Carrying body and soul
and embracing the one,
can you avoid separation?
Can you let your body become
as supple as a newborn child’s?
In the opening and shutting of heaven’s gate,
can you play the feminine part?
Can you love your people
and govern your domain
Giving birth and nourishing;
having, yet not possessing;
working, yet not taking credit;
leading without controlling or dominating.
One who heeds this power
brings the Tao to this very earth.
This is the primal virtue.
The illusion of separation is quite convincing. Most of us live our lives absolutely unaware that we are one with everything.
It’s all for good reason, of course. As individual expressions of the oneness, each of us is experiencing a unique perspective of the one thing and the one moment.
There is only one thing and one moment. All that exists does so right now, right here.
Try to imagine all of time and all of space existing right here, right now. It’s virtually impossible to comprehend, but it’s a nice exercise to help gain perspective when feeling down.
You are an individual right?
But what does individual mean? Most people think it means you’re separate from others, but think about it… we’re not dividuals… we’re individuals. Just like indivisible means it cannot be separated from the whole, so does individual.
Your former spouse, although you may wish otherwise, is NOT separate from you. He or she exists as a reflection of you for your own learning. For most of us, our closest relationships are our biggest teachers.
Wishing you didn’t have to deal with “them” anymore is the same as wishing you didn’t have to deal with yourself. There really is no escaping it.
Well, the good & bad news is: you’re an eternal being and you cannot ever separate yourself from yourself and the true “yourself” is All That Is. So Lao-Tzu’s advice is to embrace it (you).
The upset you may feel toward your former spouse is there so you can take a good look in the mirror. At first, you may not like what you see, but try to play the feminine part being receptive to what is, understanding that you are inseparable from All That Is, and All That Is is perfect just the way it is.
Your relationship with your former spouse might not seem perfect, perhaps far from it, but it is exactly as it needs to be for you to recall what you came here to remember… that there’s no such thing as separation. The path to experiencing the oneness is through forgiveness, and since there’s only one of us here, it’s always Self-forgiveness.
By accepting things for exactly how they are and loving everyone in your life unconditionally, you allow for the all-nourishing Tao to reveal greater, more complete versions of reality to you.
By holding onto the upset, you resist and thus prevent the revelation of the greater truth.
Practice believing you are one with All That Is, but without buying into the false notion of self-importance.
When you govern your domain be mindful that what you put out is what you get back. There is only one of us here and all of space and time exist right here and right now, but we’re, as individuals, simply viewing the one moment from a series of single facets, missing the larger view which contains all facets. To us, this gives the appearance of movement through space and linear time, but it’s merely a construct created to allow for individualized experience of the oneness, by the oneness, for the oneness.
There is only one of us here. It is inevitable that each of us will directly experience the effects of our actions upon others from their perspective. Keeping that in mind can help during the challenging times when you’re finding it difficult to resist the ego’s urge to be ugly toward those whom you feel have hurt you.
Recognizing your true infinite power to love all, no matter what the situation, is what dissolves the illusion of separation and brings the Tao to this very earth.
Love & Light Ahead!
Michael C. Cotugno, Esq.
Conscious Divorce Attorney & Coach
M.A. in Spiritual Psychology