Fourteenth Verse of the Tao Te Ching:
That which cannot be seen is called invisible.
That which cannot be heard is called inaudible.
That which cannot be held is called intangible.
These three cannot be defined;
therefore, they are merged as one.
Each of these three is subtle for description.
By intuition you can see it,
and feel it.
Then the unseen,
are present as one.
Its rising brings no dawn,
its setting no darkness;
it goes on and on, unnameable,
returning into nothingness.
Approach it and there is no beginning;
follow it and there is no end.
You cannot know it, but you can be it,
at ease in your own life.
Discovering how things have always been
brings one into harmony with the Way.
The fourteenth verse of the Tao Te Ching is profound in its depth and richness.
Lao-tzu encourages us to glimpse at the nature of existence. What we see, hear, and touch is a product of Spirit. It does not exist separately from the Divine, and how could it?
When we look at something, we think it’s real. It makes a sound, we can touch it, it must be real, right?
But, what if it’s simply the formless Tao emerging into form for the sake of our experience?
What if all of your struggles are illusions just trying to get you to wake up to the greater reality?
With your intuition, you can see the invisible, hear the inaudible, and hold the intangible, but it takes a change in your perspective. If you’re totally convinced that your problems are real, they are. However, if you can step back and see that they are only a result of how you’ve been thinking, you now have the power to transcend them.
Before any problem becomes a problem (before any thing becomes a thing), it’s first only formless potential. You thinking about it makes it what it is. The answer is not to ignore your problems and hope they’ll go away. The answer is in the re-discovery of the origin of all things (problems included).
Problems only exist because you see your life from the very limited perspective of the ego, where all conflict exists. There’s no conflict in the formless. We generate it for the experience, so we can heal, learn, and grow.
You face challenges with your ex-spouse because they are exactly what you need to support you in your own spiritual growth. That’s the purpose of all relationships. Your partner has to be the catalyst for growth or the relationship wouldn’t exist.
How can this be true? Because there’s really only one of us here. What you observe as ‘someone else’ has to be a perfect fit for what you need to learn because they’re just a reflection of you. That is how things have always been in harmony. It could be no other way.
If you can begin a practice of being mindful of the formless, your intuition will grow. You will feel the invisible, inaudible, and intangible. We exist within the Divine perfection. It is always perfect. The perception of imperfection takes place so you can experience the re-memberance of your own Divine perfection, for God, as God.
Time and space are artificial constructs created out of the formless for the sake of experience. We are individualized expressions of God, having experiences on behalf of God, the Oneness, the Tao.
So, how do you apply this to your life, particularly to your divorce? Start by accepting what is and let go of your resistance to your current circumstances. Next, be grateful for the experience (it’s hard, I know). Thank your ex-spouse for serving as such a perfect teacher for you (this need not be communicated to your ex-spouse).
Next, make a list of all the ways your ex-spouse upsets you, paying particular attention to the judgments you have about them. Review the list carefully and ask yourself these questions:
How am I capable of acting this same way toward others?
How am I capable of acting this same way toward myself?
How am I capable of acting this same way toward God?
Finally, forgive yourself for the judgments you’ve had about your ex-spouse, understanding that these judgments can only ever be judgments you have about yourself, which are the limiting beliefs that generate your ‘imperfect’ reality.
Letting go of those limiting beliefs makes space for a greater reality, more in harmony with the Way.
Love & Light Ahead!
Michael C. Cotugno, Esq.
Conscious Divorce Attorney & Coach
M.A. in Spiritual Psychology