Tao of Divorce – Let it Go (Nineteenth Verse)

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The Nineteenth Verse of the Tao Te Ching

Give up sainthood, renounce wisdom,
and it will be a hundred times better for everyone.
Throw away morality and justice
and people will do the right thing.
Throw away industry and profit
and there will be no thieves.
 
All of these are outward forms alone;
they are not sufficient in themselves.
 
It is more important
to see the simplicity,
to realize one’s true nature,
to cast off selfishness
and temper desire.

Author’s Commentary:
 
This verse is all about letting of convention and trusting your inner knowing.

Don’t try to be a saint because some organization says its what you should do. You’re already a Divine Being. You don’t need to try to conform to anyone else’s set of artificial standards.

Question authority. If your lawyer tells you that you should go to court and fight for what he or she says you’re supposed to get, check inside first. What does your heart tell you?

You have a perfect guidance system inside of you.

Upset is a natural part of the process, but it exists to help you see where to let go of your misunderstandings. It’s not there to justify unkind behavior.

Just because someone tells you that you should take your spouse to court because they deserve it, does not mean it’s the highest and best choice. Our system of “justice” is an adversarial one, inherently based on conflict.

To buy into that system without question greatly limits your options and locks you into a costly and frustrating cycle. In law school, lawyers are trained to spot “issues.” What are issues? They are basically things that lawyers can argue about. If you need legal assistance, look for a settlement attorney (or mediator) that has been trained to look for solutions.

Let it go. Let go of convention. Seek alternatives that are aligned with your true Divine nature. Find peace within and share it with your spouse.

Be generous. Release attachment to your limited ideas of right and wrong… blame and punishment. We are all just doing the best we can with what we know.

Friends and family will supply endless advice. Most of it will be utterly useless, or even worse, destructive. They love you and they want to help, but if you step back and look at their advice from a higher perspective, you’ll see that it probably appeals only to the victim within you that feels hurt and wants vengeance (and sympathy).

The source of the advice may seem to have considerable authority, but no matter what the perceived authority, it’s a poor substitute for your own inner knowing.

You do not need to have a series of letters after your name to access the ultimate authority on morality and integrity. It’s always within you, as a part of you, ready and willing to be accessed.

Accessing your inner guidance gets easier with practice. Set time aside each day, even if it’s only ten minutes, to sit in silence and listen. There’s a still, small voice within that is always there, but is usually drowned out by the noise of ego.

Practice listening and the answers you seek will be there.

If the answer you receive uplifts while harming no one, you know it is aligned with the Tao (which is your true nature).

When you receive an uplifting thought, follow its thread as high as you can. Allow it to unfold and attract other uplifting thoughts. Let go of limiting thoughts of what you believe is possible.

The highest and best solutions to any and all of your problems already exist, they’re just waiting for you to let go of your old way of thinking and open yourself to higher possibilities.

Let go of your ideas of morality and justice. Truth is what edifies. There is no better authority outside of yourself that knows what is best for you and your family.

Trust your inner knowing. Commit yourself to peaceful resolution. Be kind to yourself and others.

Peace is achieved by letting go of the conflict you hold within. Practice everyday letting go of the conflict inside and eventually, the peace you achieve within will be reflected around you.

Love & Light Ahead!

Michael C. Cotugno, Esq.
Conscious Divorce Attorney & Coach
M.A. in Spiritual Psychology

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