Eighth Verse of the Tao Te Ching:
The supreme good is like water,
which nourishes all things without trying to.
It flows to low places loathed by all men.
Therefore, it is like the Tao.
Live in accordance with the nature of things.
In dwelling, be close to the land.
In meditation, go deep in the heart.
In dealing with others, be gentle and kind.
Stand by your word.
Govern with equity.
Be timely in choosing the right moment.
One who lives in accordance with nature
does not go against the way of things.
He moves in harmony with the present moment,
always knowing the truth of just what to do.
I like to think of the love and compassion inside of me as being like water. If I damn it up and keep it from flowing, I miss the opportunity to nourish what’s around me.
Sometimes the conflicts we observe in our lives are just the result of our keeping the nourishing waters from flowing.
Maybe your spouse seems to be reacting to you from one of those low places loathed by all men, but instead of you reacting with more of the same upset, what if you chose to open the flood gates a bit and released some of your love and compassion, allowing it to simply flow into the low spots?
It’s never easy at first, but I’ve witnessed miracles when it’s done.
Water naturally flows with gravity, but Viktor Shauberger discovered that water also has levitational properties. He observed trout literally float out of streams (above the water!), after they spent time in a natural vortex created by the flow of the water.
Your love and compassion create these same uplifting vortices when allowed to flow.
We are naturally beings of love and our nature is to let love flow, but somewhere along the way, we learned to restrict the flow in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt, but in doing so, we closed ourselves off to the beauty of life.
Let us all commit to living more attuned with the nature of things.
Instead of meeting upset with upset, have compassion for the challenges your spouse is experiencing. It’s easier to turn it off so we don’t feel the pain, but that only numbs us to the joy of life.
It’s only through total vulnerability that we can experience our true power, which comes from our natural state of loving, which is our essence.
What would the world be like if we all strove to live from our hearts, celebrating our vulnerability instead of lashing out at one another out of fear?
Never underestimate the power of kindness. The harder it is to be kind, the greater the impact it can have.
Sure, it’s not easy showing kindness to your spouse who has “wronged you” in some way, but your gentleness, kindness, and compassion is often all it takes to resolve an apparent impasse. It diffuses the anger and nourishes the soul.
By sharing your kindness, even when you might not feel it’s deserved, you align with integrity.
By keeping your word, even when you could easily justify breaking it, you access the Tao that is within all of us.
Encourage yourself to remain steadfast in your integrity, despite the actions of your spouse or others.
Sometimes it takes a while before you can see just how nourishing your flow of loving can be on others, but acknowledge the impact it has on you inside. Don’t wait to see its effects on others before you allow yourself to experience it for yourself.
When you look in the mirror, do you wait for your reflection to smile before you can be happy?
Feel it first, so it can flow out of you and nourish others.
When you allow yourself to open the flow of your loving essence (your nature), equitable solutions to the challenges you face in your divorce will become apparent and attainable.
Love & Light Ahead!
Michael C. Cotugno, Esq.
Conscious Divorce Attorney & Coach
M.A. in Spiritual Psychology